Some mums are born great, some mums achieve greatness, some have greatness thrust upon them.....then the others, (which Shakespeare didn't spot) have epic failures thrust upon them. Don't get me wrong, my epic failures are not the result of a comedy of errors, a lack of common sense or misplaced good deeds, no, they are simply fumbling muddle-through moments, borne out of the toughest test known to mankind: a parent's mission of successfully (or not) navigating a way through the teenage years. As a mum of two teenage boys, I stand, well...erm... sort of lost.
Who knew bringing up teenagers was the new ToddlerGate? Okay, you coped with the endless nappy changes, endured projectile vomiting resulting in the house stinking of sick for weeks (and you secretly sniff everything before you have friends call round, just in case it still smells of sick mixed with bleach. Once, I was so paranoid that I kept walking in and out of my front door to test whether there was an immediate nostril-filling aroma of puke - or not - even before the Tesco delivery man could bring his crates into the kitchen), successfully navigate the toddler tantrums ( and Black Monday. Everyone has got to have a moment in their toddler's life resulting in a shared meltdown, right? Mine was entitled Black Monday - I'll tell you about it one day..), survived the school gates mother mafia paranoia (or by sheer luck find some like- minded creatures who didn't give a hoot about the detrimental effects of plonking your kid in front of Teletubbies or tutted at the sight of a Fruit Shoot ) just about handled the trauma of moving to Juniors after the nurturing of your little darlings in Infants, and then BANG!, just like that, they're in Senior school and become - whisper it - teenagers. The species should be studied by an Attenborough documentary, such are the erratic and curious habits that have resulted in my declaration of this: Toddler-Dom was flipping easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy. Seriously.
This blog is dedicated to my friends going through the same teenage wilderness, wondering if they can ever swim the crocodile-infested waters that are the teenage years, and crawl onto the other side of the bank, hoping the coffee and cake in your backpack isn't soggy and arriving with an emphatic declaration: well that went - deep breath - as well as could be expected.
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